4 Ways to Increase a Woman’s Pleasure

There is controversy about the nature of women’s sexual desire. A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2009 reported that women are more prone to inhibition about sex than men. They also stated women admit to various triggers of desire including touch, memories, and their partner’s responses. These responses can excite or inhibit a woman, turning her on or off instantly!

I encounter a lot of women who are very frustrated by their lack of desire, arousal or even sexual fulfillment, and all this talk in the news about HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder) and FSD (female sexual dysfunction) is compounding the problem by making women feel that they have a disorder or that there is something inherently wrong with them. There isn’t a quickie ‘cure’ for these conditions either, though many large pharmaceutical companies have tried in vain, spending millions, to find one for women.

Low desire or lack of orgasm is only a concern if it causes distress. If you are fine with it, it isn’t a condition anymore. I help women reframe how they feel about their sex life, and the resulting changes and new levels of satisfaction are quite remarkable. Many factors affect how much a woman looks forward to lovemaking. Issues such as concern about body image, reputation, unwanted pregnancy, underlying resentments, and hormonal changes all play a part in this complex process.

Here are four ways to improve your intimate relationship:

1.    Discover your Sexual Truths – find out what all of your turn-ons and turn-offs are. Replace old beliefs or programming from childhood that don’t serve you with ones that nurture your sensual side. Get clear about how often you want to make love according to you, not according to friends, family, magazines, movies, television or your neighbors.
2.   Learn effective communication skills and apply them to conversations about your intimate relationship. Your lover doesn’t ‘instinctively’ know what you like, even if he loves you! He wants to give you exactly what you want – but you need to let him know what that is.
3.    Have two to three sensual baths every week. Add candles, soothing music, oils, something tasty to drink and a romance novel or erotica to read. This will help remind you of your sensual core. You are a woman before you are anything else such as mom, teacher, boss, wife, etc.
4.    Accept that you are responsible for your own pleasure. No-one has ever given you an orgasm. You allowed it to happen. We often blame or give credit to our lovers, when it is always us who controls our satisfaction.

While it can be difficult for women to ‘let go’ and be their complete and natural selves in the bedroom, it is a must if you want to experience truly fulfilling, authentic sexual connection.

Join me for a free ‘couples only’ workshop on March 6 2011 2 pm at Nanaimo’s West Coast Women’s Show at Beban Park. Get back on the same page as your lover with communication tips, playful experiences and a powerful shift in perspective.


Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator & Intimacy Coach for Women
Rediscover your passion for sex and have a juicy marriage that lasts!


Author of “Great Sex for Hard Times” and “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”

Free Report here on the Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confident Woman

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