How to introduce SWINGING to your lover

If you are married or in a relationship and have always been excited by the thought of swinging but don’t know how to introduce the idea to your partner then you will be interested in this information. I’m not a huge fan of swinging unless you REALLY think it through, you communicate brilliantly and you are doing it to ADD to your relationship – not to FIX it!

So if you’re looking at swinging for what I consider the right reasons, enhancing and expanding your mutual sexual experiences – read on!

I was recently introduced to the following e-book and I found it an AMAZING resource for anyone considering swinging. If you do the steps outlined in it, you will absolutely have a better intimate relationship. You may in fact decide swinging is not in the cards for you, but you’re sex life will be greatly improved regardless! OR you may get both of you really excited and embark on an exciting new adventure. Stay tuned since I’m going to interview a man who recently took his wife on this little journey.

There are a few things you need to consider to engage in swinging successfully with your partner: the quality of your communication, your intimacy level and your sexual chemistry. After reading this and applying the information you should find your partner much more receptive to the idea. If you wish to jump ahead right away go here:

First,to be successful at swinging requires an unusually high degree of communication and trust in your relationship. Swinging is not a replacement for your relationship, it should be an enhancement (if it becomes a replacement you are headed for trouble). You need to find ways to deepen your communication. The most effective way to do this is to think about what is important to your partner. What are their values? If you know what is important to them you can communicate in ways that are meaningful to them. For instance, if your partner is the sort of person who is cautious you need to acknowledge that in your activities together. Don’t surprise him or her with a bungy jump on your anniversary! The book outlines wonderful exercises to help you determine values. I use similar processes in my intiamcy coaching work so if you are aligned with the work I am doing, you will enjoy the book.

Once you are communicating in ways that make your partner feel more heard the next step is to increase the amount of intimacy in your relationship. This is something that for many couples fades over time. Now is the time to reactivate your intimacy! You can start this in small ways. Think back to the beginning of your relationship. What were some of the things that you did together that were very intimate and which your partner seemed to really enjoy? It might have only been a kiss on the neck or holding her hand in a certain way. Perhaps you spoke to him/her in a specific tone of voice or used specific words. Try to remember these and to reintroduce them into your relationship.

With increased intimacy will come more sexual chemistry. This is where the two of you can start to get adventurous. If your partner feels loved by you – and is made to feel that there is nothing you would do to harm them – then exploring sexual fantasies such as involving others becomes a real possibility. Start things slowly. Perhaps plan a visit to a nude beach or resort (there are many of these around the world). Even just begin to introduce talk about some of your fantasies (in a very low key way). Judge his/her reaction! And if you’ve read my book, Great Sex for Hard Times, you’ll recall that I suggest going to an adult club together and selecting a girl for a lap dance to test the waters first.

The chances are your partner may also have thought about swinging as something to try. However, even with a partner who does not appear particularly sexual, by introducing better communication, greater intimacy and more sexual chemistry in loving ways you may be surprised at the positive response you get. We are all sexual beings and for many couples swinging is simply a way of adding more spice and love to their own relationship. You can think of it as having live sexual accessories.

If you are serious or even a little curious about becoming a swinger with your partner and would like some very specific tools and suggestions on how to introduce it into your relationship in a loving and respectful way visit

As a Sex & Intimacy Coach, I really love the approach in the book. I was skeptical at first since this is a delicate subject to discuss well and Michael pulled it off wonderfully! Yes, I do get a small affiliate fee if you purchase the book and I also know if you do get it, you will absolutely be thrilled with the results if you start applying the techniques. They are ‘golden’ regardless of whether you end up swinging or not!


If you want things to be different in your bedroom, if you are tired of frustration and dissatisfaction, and you want to feel more fulfilled, call me to set up a complimentary consultation. Maybe you need some one-on-one private coaching, maybe an online group program or perhaps I can recommend a great book or other resource.  Isn’t it about time?

Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex & Intimacy Coach
Helping you rediscover your passion for sex so you can have a juicy, loving marriage that lasts!
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