Remember 3 Things When Talking to Your Kids About Sex

Part 1

So how do I discuss sex with kids? My answer is threefold. The first thing you want to ensure is your bottom lip doesn’t drop to the floor as the colour drains from your face. Even if your child has the attention span of a gnat, they’re bound to pick up on that one. Try to keep calm and realize their intention is probably not to see who can freak you out the most (even if their friends are waiting around the corner giggling). If you want them to develop a healthy appreciation for their sexuality and not feel it’s a taboo subject, hear them out. Maybe try a light and casual “What do you mean exactly?” to find out a little more about what specifically they’re seeking. Find out if it’s a definition for a science quiz before you go on and on about your first oral sex experience! Then affirm it with “What a great question.”

Second, don’t lie. If you don’t know the answer (example – what does cunnilingus mean?), let them know you’ll find it and get back to them – and then do that! Alternatively, seek out the information together. Be cautious of doing a Google search online with your child present, as you even you may be shocked at the results that come back. There’s a fabulous service available free from the public library where you can ask a librarian any question and they will find the answer for you. How cool is that?

Finally, answer them in language that makes sense to them. There’s no reason to start sounding like a professor just because the topic is sex.

We’ve come a long way from “Don’t touch yourself – you’ll go to hell”, “You’ll grow hair on your palms” or my favourite “you’ll go blind”. Let’s leave the “Do NOT touch” sign in the china shop where it belongs.

For more please check out http://www.teachingsexualhealth.ca/ or www.sexualityandu.ca