The following may seem extreme to some of you. My intent is not to shock or scare anyone, but to offer another persepective and to help you explore your feelings around your own sexuality. All comments are welcome.
I was recently contacted by a woman named Suzy who has an e-book on how to have a threesome with 2 women and a man. She wanted me to promote it to my clients. I requested a copy of her program as I personally check out eveything before I offer it to you. The e-book isn’t bad, but it isn’t something that I feel comfortable offering on my website. If you are interested, please email me and I can give you more information.
The whole idea of threesomes, just like other fantasies (and this is reported to be the number one fantasy for most straight men) may be best kept in the secret places of your mind to be pulled out when you want some extra stimulation for arousal or you want to whisper sexy words to your sweetie. The potential risks of a threesome (and I speak from experience) range from hurt feelings to the dissolving of friendships and relationships.
I’ve spoken with many women who brought another woman into her ‘marital’ bed resulting in a good time at first and then lots of tears and heartbreak afterwards. Sometimes the emotional damage can be repaired over time, but not always. AND I haven’t even mentioned the risk of potential infection or pregnancy!
That is the downside. On a positive note, there are also LOTS of couples who regularly engage in threeway (or more) sexual encounters and they have an absolutely fabulous time! This is not for everyone, but if it truly works for you, and you are both TRULY 100% consenting and comfortable in this scenario (which makes it healthy sexuality), then go for it!
If you are interested in some safe and spicy exploring, here is something you can try which I picked up from Suzy’s e-book. She proposes (and I highly agree!) that you test the waters first. How?
This is a way to try out the idea of a threesome – sort of a threesome simulator! I must caution you that this is only for those of you thinking about the idea or those who want to spice things up a little. If the idea of the following is enticing, then go for it.
If it has you feeling queasy just reading about it – I don’t recommend you try it.
First, get dressed up seductively (keeping it classy) and take your honey out for a romantic evening. Perhaps begin with a meal at a favourite restaurant or a candlelight dinner. Then for dessert off you go to an upscale erotic dance club that has table or lap dancers. You may have to go out of town to find one, depending on where you live.
Spend some time enjoying the dancers and having a drink or two. Once you decide on a girl who interests you both, invite her over and have her dance for either you or your lover while the other watches. This has the potential to be a powerfully erotic experience without a lot of the associated risks of threeway sexual activity.
I suggest you call the club ahead of time to ask for pricing so you aren’t surprised. Suzy suggests having the dancer dance for you first, but I’d say that’s totally up to you. After the dance is over, share your feelings with your partner. Discuss how you each feel and then decide if you want to invite her or another girl over for another dance, or just go home and make mad passionate love! You may decide not to have a private dance and just watch the ladies or simply watch your lover enjoy them.
If this experience turns you off or stirs up feelings of jealousy, please don’t bring another woman into your bed. If, however, it enhances your evening, then take it one step at a time. You may even use the images from the evening as kindling to light your romance flame.
If you want to discuss the idea with me, I’m always available for a few minutes as a sounding board. My best friend was an exotic dancer when I was young so maybe I can help steer you in the right direction.
The important thing here, as always, is communication. Keep the lines open and your words honest and you really can’t go wrong. Whatever you decide, have fun with it!
Passionately,
Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator & Intimacy Coach for Women
Rediscover your passion for sex and have a juicy marriage that lasts!
250.753.8692
www.kimswitnicki.com
Author of “Great Sex for Hard Times” and “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
Free Report here on the Top 10 Ways to be a Sexier, more Confident Woman
