ANSWERS TO YOUR SEX TOYS QUESTIONS
Here are answers to some of the more common questions we are asked. They are sorted by category. PLEASE email us if you have a question you feel would be useful to have answered here – it will be updated for you regularly!
How do I select a vibrator?
Since over 70% of us women need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, most vibrators are purchased with external (clitoral) stimulation in mind. The compact or the powerful are excellent for this. They give strong and consistent stimulation. A variable speed (strong, stronger and strongest) option is the as some women like the option of increasing or decreasing the strength as they proceed to get closer to orgasm.
If you or your partner like the option of having penetration with your vibrator, then a more life-like vibrator such as the Simple & True or the Blue Jelly are excellent choices. The softer jelly-type materials will absorb the vibration somewhat so if you have trouble reaching climax, these may not be as effective as they aren’t as powerful as the harder plastic types. If you reach orgasm without tremendous effort (good for you!) then the softer ones are variable speed and perfect!
You can find vibrators in so many shapes and sizes that once you determine how you want to use it, then it becomes a matter of personal preference for size, shape, colour and price.
How do I clean my vibrator?
For the most part, if you aren’t sharing your toys with friends and neighbours, a wash with hot water and soap following use is usually sufficient to keep it clean and bacteria free. However, some women are prone to infection at the slightest hint of anything unusual so an antibacterial cleanser is in order.
I usually only recommend a cleanser if the toy is made of any rubber, latex or jelly material as it is much more porous than a hard plastic and can provide tiny places for bacteria to live. Please don’t submerge any battery packs unless the batteries are removed. Then let air dry. Apparently repeated use of hot soap and water will break down some jelly products but I think that would have to be a LOT of use!
Some women prefer to place condoms on their vibrators before use and then they simply toss the condom away when they’re done. If you have a silicone vibrator, please follow package instructions for cleaning as they use a powder to keep them fresh. Please remember to ALWAYS thoroughly wash any toys that are used anally before they go anywhere near your vagina as that is an invitation for a terrible infection! The bottom line is to regularly inspect your toys for nicks, cracks or anything that seems at all unsafe – and don’t use if in doubt!
Can I get “desensitized” by too much vibrator use?
The short answer is sort of. If you use your vibrator often (which is really hard to pinpoint what is often) but then eventually you MAY start to lose some clitoral sensitivity. The bottom line here is that if you simply stop using it for a few days, then your sensitivity returns!
You don’t want to use your vibrator for any more than 30 minutes for a few reasons. One is that the motors in these devices aren’t designed for industrial use! The little motors will get hot and not only potentially burn you but they will wear out much faster. Two, if you have a vibrator on your clitoris for that long, you’ll surely be numb! So use them as an accessory, not as the only option. Some women can only orgasm (at this point in their lives) through vibrator use. Some people think this is a problem or is somehow incorrect or not good enough. I say – Why Not?! If that’s what it takes for her to have an orgasm, then goody for her!
At least she isn’t one of the approximately 10% (according to numerous studies) of women who haven’t yet had an orgasm! So use them in good health and remember, you can always stop for a few days and build up your sensitivity again. You can always check in to see what classes we’re having if you want to learn more about vibrator use or orgasms!
I’ve heard I shouldn’t use good quality batteries in my toys – is this true?
The answer to this depends on you really. Yes, if you put lesser quality (cheap) batteries in your vibrator, it won’t run at its optimum capacity. If you put good quality Duracells in, then your motor may burn out quicker but you will also be getting 100% use out of the product you purchased.
Personally, I don’t want to get 70% use out of something that I paid 100% real money for! So if you want to nominally stretch the length of time your toy lasts, go ahead and use cheap batteries. If you find your vibrator too powerful you can try to put older batteries that aren’t fresh in and it may run slower or with less intensity – not my idea of fun but it’s a personal preference. Whatever you do, don’t use rechargables as they can heat up and burn out your toys’ motor quickly.
What are dual mode vibrators?
These are the gorgeous category of vibrators that we call “voluptuous” and they are the vibrator that you aspire to have in your collection. They have a multi-speed clitoral stimulator for external pleasuring AND the shaft, which is very penis-like, is designed to be inserted at the same time so you get multi-speed internal sensations as well!
They provide a very intense experience and I don’t recommend them for first time vibrator users, but some women like to start at the top! These were made famous on Sex in the City as one of the gals had fallen in love with hers. Couples often use them in their lovemaking together as some partners love to watch the wonderful gyrations of the vibrator and, more importantly, the look of extreme pleasure on their women! They can be used simply for external stimulation but I recommend a smaller toy for that.
How do I introduce a vibrator into my relationship?
This is such a fabulous question! Quite often men aren’t aware that they can orgasm with a vibrator as well as women. Men have generally not been exposed to vibrator use except perhaps using it on their female partners so don’t get the opportunity to experience their delights. Often men can also be intimidated by vibrators as the toys may be larger than they are or they simply feel that they can’t “keep up” with the speed and stamina of a vibrator. That may be true, but still nothing can replace that gorgeous sensation of skin on skin and being in the arms of someone you care about. So, if you want to introduce a vibrator to your man, be gentle. Don’t pull out a huge specimen unless he has perhaps expressed an interest in one. Try something small at first like the Microtingler that is not even penis-shaped but still has loads of power.
There are a number of ways to introduce it to him. I’ll be uploading an audio link soon with more detailed information on this, but for now you can try one of these. First you can use it on yourself and then show him how to use it on you so he feels included. You can also use a small one on him while you perform oral sex on him. You can be gently rubbing it along his penis, carefully moving it along the perineum (between his testicles and his anus) as that is a VERY sensitive spot! You can even rub it along his tummy or along his thighs just to give him extra sensations.
You can also have something small like the Microtingler inserted into your vagina while you make love and he’ll definitely get the sensations then! Let me know of other things that you’ve tried successfully to get your lover to accept the joys of an extra “helping hand” while you make love.
Who selects the products you carry?
The pleasure of that task falls on me, Kim Switnicki, and I hope it always will! As the founder of Lioness for Lovers, I’m very selective of the products I carry so you won’t be disappointed. You will find a small but specific variety at Lioness for Lovers. I choose based on quality and value for the price.
Sometimes the most expensive is NOT always the best way to go. Since so many people have allergies and sensitivities, I am very careful about all of the products that are either ingested or applied to the skin or vaginal area. I don’t promote anything that I haven’t tried on myself. I research ingredients and only use companies that I trust based on my long history within the industry and my feedback from clients. If you have any further questions about this, please email me directly and I’ll be happy to help you out.
What are Ben Wa Balls?
This is quite a long answer so here is a link to my Blog post for a more detailed answer. Primarily they are 3/4 inch 24kt gold-plated metal balls designed to be inserted vaginally for improved pelvic floor muscle toning. This will help prevent or reduce incontinence (dribbling urine when you laugh, sneeze or dance) if you use them regularly.
They will also help improve the intensity of your orgasm as toned muscles are stronger and orgasm involves muscle contractions! I do have a complete DVD program which includes an audio CD and a workbook that is a complete home study program to use these little wonders and rid you of those dribbles! You can also check out BladderFreedom.com for more.
