QUESTION
My lover really likes to watch me masturbate. Is this normal and is there a hidden message? Thanks.
ANSWER
Hello Jane (names protected),
Thanks so much for sending this question in to me! I think watching each other masturbate is a fabulous, sexy and healthy way for lovers to inter-act. Not only does your lover see EXACTLY how you like to be pleasured, but they get to watch you in the throes of passion without being distracted by their own actions (of trying to stimulate you themselves).
I personally have always been turned on by watching my lovers. It’s the voyeur in me. As long as it isn’t inappropriate (such as watching someone who doesn’t want to be watched), it’s all good! The only problem I can see is if one of you is not comfortable with this. My definition of healthy sexuality is one that is 100% consensual and brings pleasure to all parties. If you both enjoy it, I don’t see a reason to read anything hidden at all 🙂 As for normal, there is a HUGE range for “normal” sexuality and I’m not sure what normal really is. I can tell you it is VERY common and I think a great thing to do.
FOLLOW-UP
Kim – thanks so much for your response. I guess maybe I’m the one with the backward thinking – that my lover should be the one pleasuring me as opposed to myself. I would not have thought to watch my lover masturbate – it doesn’t seem like it would excite me – however – getting insight into what he likes would be. (Which I think is your point.) I will ask and see what his reaction is. Thanks again! Jane
Passionately,
Kim Switnicki, ACC
Sex Educator & Intimacy Coach for Women
Rediscover your passion for sex and have a juicy marriage that lasts!
250.753.8692
www.kimswitnicki.com
Author of “Great Sex for Hard Times” and “G-Spot PlayGuide: 7 Simple Steps to G-Spot Heaven!”
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